One of the best parts of playing the Big Red Jackass is welcoming @makeawishamerica
onto set. Deadpool kicked Cancer in the taint, but these kids do it for real every day. These foundations make dreams come true for a lot of of super-brave kids. They also make dreams come true for parents, who just wanna see their kid smile. HUGE thanks to our Prop Master, Dan Sissons, for making sure every kid left with his/her own sword. (Bamboo versions. Not stabby-stabby versions.) 🇨🇦⚔️
Ten minutes in to writing an email to my mom, when I realized there was no phone in my hand.
I baked this cake for my wife. The icing is glue, ‘cause I’m not a scientist.
Happy Birthday, Bright Eye. You don’t taste a day over 40.
A little hit of PCP. “PremiumCableProvider #Cable
Take your passion. And make it happen. #Deadpool
Happy Birthday to the one and only @bettymwhite
! Cheers to another year of ‘Tinis and Weenies! 🍸🌭
A perfect day with @piaget.
Thank you @chabinouri
for hosting — and a very special thanks to three glasses of gin, for making jet lag taste like candy. #SIHH
Happy New Year, everybody! The point is, I used to style my hair with a blowtorch.
Daughter: Santa comes down the chimney?
Daughter: You left the fire burning all night.
Me: Yup. (Silence. Slight breeze. A crow circles in the distance.)
Apparently you can’t actually blow the Matterhorn.