Shock Horror - I haven’t been to the gym since last Wednesday. 😬😱
Mentally this has been a major fucking struggle. My mind is telling me I’m being incredibly lazy vs my body screaming at me saying what it wants and needs =rest!
Since I first entered the gym close to ten years ago my training regime has always been six days per week, I use to skip school and head to the gym just to make sure I never missed a day. Partly because I loved it and thrived, the other part because I hated my body and was determined to loose weight. Sunday was my rest day or unless I was super sick would I take time out to recover and even then I’d try to push through.
When I was living in Thailand my training amplified and went to four hours of Muay Thai per day, six times a week but in saying that I also did nothing but sleep, eat and go to the beach with my spare time. #livingthedream
& I did love it 🤗
None the less it was physically taxing on my body (also due to not knowing how to fuel my body properly to recover e.g living off insufficient calories 1200) and if I did take some time off just to rest I was in the bad books by my trainers #Muaythailife
So you see I picked up on the belief that if I didn’t train I was lazy, or I couldn’t eat because I wouldn’t of burned sufficient amount of calories, I wouldn’t loose weight and because rest seemed like I was being weak.
I’ve been ignoring rest for so long that now when I do take some time out my mind goes into overdrive and the internal battle ramps up. This week has been all sorts of emotions and feelings as the only movement I have been doing is walking, I’ve been sleeping in, drinking copious amounts of bone broth & still eating a consistent amount of food. Needless to say I’m clearly working on some dark shadows that I still have and it’s not always pretty but I’m grateful to be on this journey. Because if I’m not allowing myself to rest I can’t show up as my best 🌸✨
#selfcare #selflove #rest #recover #balance #trustingtheprocess #hollistichealth #wellness #mindbodysoul #soulcare #mindset #struggleisreal #innervoice #listeningtomybody #mybodyisatemple #nourishing #bodylove #allthefeels #emotional #shadowwork #flowing