Golden hour ☀️
This has been such a good weekend - girly picnic at the Botanical Gardens, brunch date with my loves & managed to pull myself together for date night. X
I found this gem in my fridge and thought it couldn’t come at a better time, because if there’s one thing I need to help lower the inflammation in my digestive tract, it’s turmeric!! 🙌🏼😋
Crohn’s symptom wise, I definitely had a much better day today. I didn’t have to 🏃🏻♀️ to the 🚽 today, so I’ll call that a win!!
The grand reappearance of bloody 💩 has definitely messed me up a bit mentally, but I can’t focus on all of the “what ifs” because I will drive myself nuts!🙈☹️
What if my asshole continues to explode
What if I can’t take care of my kids
What if I have to go on prednisone
What if I can’t get a grip of this flare
These are just a few examples of what has been floating around in my mind today. I have no idea what direction this flare will take, but I will do everything in my power to get this thing under control. I also know that flares often do what they want, so I’ll hope for the best!🤪🙏🏼
When my flare started yesterday I committed to focus on one positive thing that’s happened each day, so this is it: My daughter chose ginger kombucha over chocolate ice cream for her dessert tonight!! That instantly counted as my main positive for the day!!🙌🏼😁
I was 100% feeling good yesterday. I hadn’t worn my makeup in a long time, or gone out for breakfast without a panic attack before hand, and worked so hard for a market that albeit got cancelled but I had a really good day. I didn’t worry about my pain or anything else, and I’ve recently met a friend who has been making my days a little brighter recently.
Come 11pm, I had the most severe attack I’ve had in a long time. my body was so hot, but was shivering like an addict needing there next hit. my teeth were chattering so hard it was almost comical. the pain and nausea in my stomach coupled with the horrendous pain in my head, it wasn’t long till I was bent over the shower trying to be sick. I have a severe phobia of puking, but when I feel like this id give anything just to puke away the pain. but I couldn’t. It lasted that bad all of half an hour. but it exhausted me so bad I didn’t know weather I was going in and out of consciousnesses or just having short seconds of sleep. the pain continued into my sleep as I had terrible nightmares where I could feel the pain in my stomach, which made them feel all the more real. And because of this I now feel I’ve gone backwards in my anxiety and don’t want to leave the house at all because when I push myself to do normal human things, this happens.
I took this selfie only a few hours before hand, and that’s the epitome of having an invisible illness. You can look like the healthiest person on earth, but within seconds we can feel like our whole body is shutting down and there is nothing we can do about it. What you see on the internet or social media, is not people’s whole reality. It’s only a small glimpse into what people go through in there lives. Always choose to be kind and forgiving to others, as the cover doesn’t show the story ❤️
#chronicillness #chronicpain #chronicpainwarrior #chronicmigraine #migraine #IC #interstitialcystitis #reality #nofilter #notouchups #tired #fatigued #fighter #spoonie #effyourbeautystandards #effyourbodystandards #selfacceptance #journey #loveyourself #dontgiveup #keepgoing #painisweaknessleavingthebody #migraineawareness #relief #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #spoonielife
Genova, Italy is so beautiful! 🇮🇪 Yesterday I climbed 172 stairs up and then back down again to the viewing point of the lighthouse 'Lanterna Di Genova', my legs are useless today but it has been so worth it!
I am absolutely loving the weather and we have met up with our friends here.
Having a rest day today and I think we're going to a museum in the evening, although I'm not sure yet.
We have an accessible room in our hotel which is a godsend, and we got my Powerchair to Italy, so it's officially the first wheelchair I have ever owned to become an international traveler 😂 Gulliver is living up to his name with his travels!
The first picture is the prison where Marco Polo was imprisoned. The window in the top right of the photograph looks out from his cell.
The second is my 'pretend you're not knackered after flights of stairs' face 👻😂 The third is a century point at the base of the Lanterna.
Picture 4 is one of the beautiful buildings, the buildings shown are pretty typical of the central area of Genoa (Genova in Italian), and the last picture is of a solid marble church, I cannot remember the name, but it is full of Baroque and Rococo architecture and art! It is the most stunning place, even more beautiful than the Cathedrals in the UK.
Our churches look as plain as daisies next to these!
#spoonie #travel #genova #italy #adventure #disabledtravel #powerchair #vlogger #vlogging #travelvlog #zoestribeadventure #zoestribe
Brunch counts as a hobby right?
Good times + crazy friends for 20+ years = amazing memories 😊💕🥂
The Road Back to Emma is all about getting back to this woman right here. I have to say though, I'll be a different version of her, a better version because of everything chronic illness has taught me. Emma 2.0. I have dreams and ambition to be something, to do something. I want to make myself exceedingly happy and make a difference for others. After all, I'm an utter boot of a woman and should really put this mouth to good use (not in a naughty way). But I still want to get back to being this woman too. She went to exhibitions at weekends, wandered round museums, drooled over dresses on display at the Victoria & Albert. She went to movies without waiting for the inevitable migraine, drank cocktails, shook her tail feather. The road back to me might take some time, some persistance. I'll bloody well get there though. #spoonie #chronicpain #chronicillness #invisibleillness #selfcare #bekind #healingvibes #healingjourney #imafighter #theroadbacktoemma
The sweetest morning cuddles 💕
Sam has been an inspiration in my recovery. He rests when he is tired (everywhere on top of anything), he plays and cuddles whenever he feels like it, and he walks away if he's not into anything.
I spent many years ignoring a lot of my needs, especially in my work. I had to show what I was capable of, learning as much as possible in the least amount of time, being constantly available and on top of things. It's hard when you start your first couple of jobs within your chosen work field. You have the pressure to gain experience and it doesn't really matter if the job isn't the right fit for you, you are lucky you even got a job somewhat in line with what you spent the past 4 years at the university aiming for. So I did what I think a lot of us have to do: work like crazy doing something that isn't quite right for you, that involves things that isn't good for you, while striving to get a job that is a better fit a couple of years down the line. A healthier fit. But a lot of us don't get there before burning out.
So now I'm back to square one. Setting up life in a sustainable way, like it should have been all along. It has taken a massive breakdown from stress, 5 doctors, 2 therapists, numerous tests, 1 surgery and 1,5 years of sick leave for society to listen. Isn't that a great use of resources....? #catsofinstagram #cat #adoptdontshop #cuddlecat #redwhitecat #whiteredcat #samthecat #goodmorning #sunday #sundaymood #instacat #catstagram #cats_of_instagram #stress #burnedout #spoonie #anxiety #healthyliving #utmattning #utmattningssyndrom #vägentillbaka
My blog post with lots of information you need to know about tick-borne illness is finally up! It is long, I know, but I would really appreciate it if every one of you read the whole thing (clickable link in bio). People shouldn’t have to suffer the way I have and awareness is the first step to stopping that from happening. I’m sorry it took so long to get up, my health level is low right now is it was very difficult to write. I’m now writing up the giveaway blog post. The giveaway will require you to know info from my Tick-borne illness and Lyme disease awareness month blog post, so get reading 😊 I would love to know if you leant anything new from it 💚 #lymediseaseawarenessmonth #lymediseaseawareness #lymedisease #tickborneillness #tickbornediseases #polishandpaws #polishandpawsblog
Perfect end to a pretty awesome day - birthday dinner and s’mores with friends; new and old.
Flirty got to enjoy a midnight snack, tonight.
I got a shipment of 15 bags of @espomanaturals
Sani-Care bedding late this morning (this is what I use for her litter box). I buy them in large quantities because I don’t pay as much for shipping, that way. It’s a decent bit of work to load then onto the dolly and haul them to the shed in the backyard for storage, though, and the high temperature was near 100°, today. Unfortunately, I inherited my mother’s heat intolerance (although mine isn’t as extreme as hers), so I needed to wait to move them. It was still 80° at midnight, but at least there was no sun and a light breeze.
Since I needed to take the bedding through her paddock and into the back yard, I put her on a tie out in the front where she could munch on some grass while I worked. She certainly enjoyed her late night snack! This shipment of bedding should last us for most of the summer, since she spends quite a bit of time outside in her paddock when I am having a good day.
#servicehorse #servicehorseintraining #miniatureservicehorse #miniatureservicehorseintraining #miniservicehorse #miniservicehorseintraining #Miniaturehorse #minihorse #americanminiaturehorse #americanminiaturehorseassociation #amha #miniisbetter #goodthingscomeinsmallpackages #horsesofinstagram #maresofinstagram #minisofinstagram #ptsd #ptsdsucks #spoonie #spoonielife #donottouch #minihorsesofinstagram
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Panic disorder is different than a panic attack. You can have panic attacks and not have panic disorder or even an anxiety disorder. Someone could have a panic attack on a one off situation and never experience one again. Panic disorder is unpredictable and does not necessarily have precipitating event or triggers. * https://www.anxietybc.com/adults/panic-disorder
I think one of the most difficult parts of chronic illness is maneuvering relationship in the midst of it. It is only human to want someone to be able to understand what you are feeling, why you feel that way, and know how to help in the best way possible. For me personally, there is a big factor in wanting someone to want to sit and listen to me babble amount my vitals, doctors, medical fears, victories, how I feel, and nonsense. I have lost all of the greatest relationships I have had my life and honestly it sucks. When something happens and I want to call some for a laughing victory dance to be shared over phone or a crying in bed late night talk....who is there to call? .
I find this to be true for many of you that I have had the great privilege to talk to. I think there are a few things to be done. 1) Let’s make sure we are supporting one another! We each get enough hate the way it is!
2) Know it is not your illnesses fault that the relationship/s ended do to the affects of CI
3) Make sure we give friends that have broken off second chances to be there for you in the crazy good and learn to be there for you better in the crazy sad.
If any of you have a friend that you have drifted away from who is chronically ill, do your best to be there for them. They a somebody, some day, very soon.
Little update ✨
This week I had my overnight and day time sleep study to look for sleep disorders. We think that my fatigue and excessive sleepiness may be due to an underlying sleep disorder.
I went into Thursday night, got all hooked up (I also had tubes in my nose tracking my breathing and giving me oxygen). This tracked my sleep cycles, my breathing, my snoring, the deepness of my sleep, my heart rate and my body movements. This looks for sleep apnea, insomnias and restless leg syndrome. Then I was woken up at 5:30 am to start the next part of the study. This day time study consisted of me taking five 20 minute naps every 2 hours starting at 7am. This is meant to track my daytime sleepiness, how quickly I fall asleep during the day and my sleep cycle during that short nap. This is mostly used to look for narcolepsy. I didn’t know anything about sleep studies was I was really interested and even got to teach my sleep technician about my conditions 👍🏻
She couldn’t give me a diagnosis right then (the specialist has to review the data) but there were signs of sleep apnea and narcolepsy. I’m feeling quite anxious about these results but am hoping that if something is wrong, there will be something to do about it.
If you have any experience with sleep disorders, let me know! ⬇️
#spoonie #spooniestrong #invisableillness #butyoudontlikesick #disabled #disabledandcute #chronicillness #chronicillnesswarrior #mcad #mcas #mastcellactivationdisorder #cfs #fibromyalgia #eds #ehlersdanlossyndrome #pots #posturalorthostatictachycardiasyndrome #sleepstudy #sleepdisorder #sleepapnea #narcolepsy
I had this captioned “suns out, buns out” because it seemed like the clever, basic and easy thing to share this photo with. I realized, when I look at this photo I don’t think of a fun little saying. I think about how much strength I have gained, how much my mind has grown, and how proud I am of myself. I have really struggled lately, spending little time on my mat. This last week I received another diagnosis for a very painful disease and started new medication. I feel that my body is failing me some days but my progress in my yoga practice, even if it may be slow, shows me that I still have room to grow and still have control. - There is always a light for those who chose see it.
Today marks my one year anniversary being cancer free. 🎉 Never had I thought I would be counting the years for that kind of celebration, but for the years to come May 24th will be one of the proudest days I will continue to celebrate. Although this past year has been one of the hardest years I have had to face I was able to power through it, and will continue to do so daily, with the unconditional love and support of my family and friends; I will be forever grateful. Here’s to many more years of celebration 🍾💛 #JustGotCheckedSoIKnowItsTrue #cancerfree #anniversary #mecfs #survivor #thyroidcancer #spoonie