It's midnight, yet I'm not asleep because I'm terribly worried about the exam... I don't know why. After all, any marks we get on exams or tests don't correspond to the level of our knowledge (thinly do) and don't value our personality (never do)... In some cases, it shows the teacher's state of mind, and nothing more. However, I have no desire to see the disappointment on my relatives' faces. I don't want them to treat me like a miserable piece of 💩, just because my philosophy teacher is... moody... Also, I don't want to lose my grant. It isn't big, but it's better than nothing. That's a fix...
At the moment I feel like Patterson lost in the wood... Everything isn't okay, yet I'm still running and fighting, warming the hope of surviving and salvation...
You know, a friend of mine says I'm similar to her because we both:
🔹 keep trying and struggling no matter what;
🔹 blame ourselves for the things we can't control;
🔹 support and help others;
🔹 and want to make the world better
But I'm not as intelligent, smart, strong, erudite and good-looking as she is ☹
Two sides. Both sides of the same person. Depression whispers and fills my mind with poison.This other side has been trying hard to derail everything. These past couple of weeks have been hard. Every setback prays on my anxiety and has me trying to find comfort in old habits. I'm struggling more than ever but I was raised a fighter and I'll keep coming back to the next round until I have this under control again. 🌿