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Actually me today! Was meant to get up for AM cardio but my body needed some rest! Wishing duvet days as an adult were acceptable #adulting
I had a really difficult therapy session yesterday. For some time I have been feeling like I am not moving anywhere in my recovery. I felt stuck in one dark place. The good could not outweigh the bad. I was swirling in this negative chaos of feelings. Anger, saddness, pity, despair. All at once. My energy levels were on zero and I had to force myself out of bed almost every morning.
I tried to say all of that to my therapist and as I was doing that and listening to the words being said out loud I was for some (to me unknown) reason absolutely disgusted with myself. Like all of this is absolutely my fault, because I am not "being positive" and all these "instagram quotes" were running through my mind. "A Negative mind can never give you Positive life." and so on and so on. I felt so terrible and guilty.
But this is not my fault. This is what mental illness does to you. It is not me. But what is me is my determination to overcome this. My hope for recovery. Me going to therapy sessions even though I sometimes don´t want to. This is what I can do. This is me. And I am going to get better.
#recovery #mentalhealth #mentalillness
« don’t judge each day by your harvest, but by the seeds you have planted. » ✿
tuesday 20 march, welcome spring!
so, for today i’m grateful for the greatest walk in the forest of yesterday under a fine snow. for the magical beauty of nature. taking time to just appreciate that, taking pictures. for the love of my dog. also, for the good movie i watch with my mom & for not binging during the day. for my good sleep, waking up with a beautiful blue sky & just embracing the fresh air. now, let’s spring begin! ✿
& now, after having a good & warm breakfast, i can start my day mindfully & continue to enjoy each little moment.
because now, i just want to post more of.. positivity. more pics of « me » don’t just food, even if i really like that too. but more.. things like nature, things i like.. & don’t write every time under my pics bc sometimes, a photo is sufficient to itself or i have nothing to say.
hope you enjoy it, and i hope to do it without being too perfectionist!
lots of love, have a wonderful day. xx
Forest is the place where my mind gets still and ego vanishes. All of a sudden, it’s not about me or my worries - it’s about details, sounds, smells, animals, fresh air, shadows, soft ground, endless renewal. Out of all elements, earth my jam 🙏🏼🌳🌏 When was the last time you went to the forest and got still?
Recovery time! What's your favourite Procover flavour?
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Accepting that recovery is a choice has been really hard.
I hasten to add that I haven’t always been in a fit state to choose recovery since having a break down and being diagnosed with severe depression and PTSD fifteen months ago. It has taken me a lot of time, support and care to get to this point. .
But, after numerous crises, intensive therapy, the addition of medication and incredible support from family, friends and colleagues, I know that I am now in a position to choose. .
Last night, exhaustion overwhelmed me and dragged me down through a spiral of negative thoughts. It was unbearably hard. I thought I was beyond that as I am well into my recovery. Yet there I was, facing a familiar battle once again. .
Self-destructive thoughts reared their ugly head. They provoked me, pushed me hard, challenged the progress I’ve made and forced me to question my recent successes that are spurring me on towards ‘normality’. .
My options, according to my intensely negative mind, were many. Most of them were self-destructive. Most of them would have sent me on the path towards relapse, rather than the challenging road to recovery. .
Well, I fought and I won. Crawling into bed at 6pm, having checked my daughters were covered, was the best decision I could have made. .
Twelve hours later, I woke feeling refreshed, positive and ready to take on the challenges that road to recovery entails. .
I made a choice. The right one this time. I know it’s not easy. But please believe it is often a matter of choice; and please make the right decision whenever you are fighting destructive thoughts. If you can’t do it alone, reach out and ask for help. That in itself is the right choice. .
#recovery #chooserecovery #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #mentalmutha #mentalbreakdown #depression #ptsd #selfharmmm
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▶️Blog in Profile ◀️ No one has all the tools or strength to be successful in life on their own. We can be surrounded by family and people every day but still “fight alone” on the inside. This blog is the result of 20 years of experience and observation of self and others and what I believe to be the primary factor that will determine if the outcome will be broken or hopeful. #dontfightalone #stewrd #help #relationships #self #recovery #healthylifestyle #change #wisdom #faith #fall
Salmon soup day is literally my favourite ever 😄 It cheers up my tuesday every time. So this was my #lunch
There's more to you than your illness, diagnosis or issues... You're deserving of all the good there is - relationships, friendships, work, money and so much more.
Let no one make you settle or feel less because of what they say you are.
Never again will you settle for less than you deserve. Affirm it.
Looking forward to meeting you at #SafePlace
monthly mental health support group this Sunday March 25th in #Lagos
(1pm) and #Ibadan
(1:15pm). Register via LINK IN BIO. It's free. 💛👭