I’m home! I have had surgery to remove our little miracle from my body, and send it off for testing to try and find a reason as to why the heartbeat suddenly stopped. Being me, there were a few more complex issues, which meant a longer stay in hospital than would be normal, but the NHS staff helped us through one of the darkest times by treating us with such kindness and dignity.
In my experience, after a miscarriage is confirmed, you are given leaflets and left to decide how you want to ‘manage it’.
I remember feeling alone and uncertain when I lost my first pregnancy, but a friend was sadly experienced in pregnancy loss, and gave me advice without hiding the details, which I needed to hear to prepare myself.
Pregnancy loss is never going to be a comfortable subject, much less the more detailed facts of it. Everyone deals with it differently, and there is no right or wrong way.
The stigma of talking about pregnancy loss needs to be broken. No, the details aren’t pretty, they can’t be dressed up. Yes, it’s traumatic, and takes a toll on the body and the mind. To me, these are even greater reasons to talk about it.
Pregnancy loss isn’t something anyone should have to feel alone in, or that they have to battle through. Yes, it is something you have to survive, but the struggle of that survival is lessened a little when you have someone to talk to.
I wanted to share these photos to display that even though what we are going through is awfully devastating and distressing, it shouldn’t be something hidden, or ignored, or something unknown, to fear. It’s horrible to have been in this position a fifth time, but I promised Pearl, and myself, and you, that I would share this honestly, so that one day I can help someone find those words, and then speak them.
If you feel you need someone to discuss things with, please get in touch. Or please find someone you trust to talk to.
You will survive.
For more information from more official sources, @tommys_thebabycharity
do amazing work. Be kind to yourself. #pregnancylossawareness #pregnancylosssupport #recurrentpregnancyloss #breakingthestigma #iwillsurvive #MotherofPearl #thankgodforafilter