I remember how strong I am, through all my adversities. This song right now is *my* song-- it especially speaks to me in the current context of dealing with the residual & life long trauma that exists from the relationship I last left.
But not only that, because whatever you're dealing with-- and I see you, warriors-- whether it be your body rebelling against you or even your mind rebelling against you... you have to remember that only in the darkness can you see the stars.
First, my mind rebelled. I danced with and drank a plethora of psychiatric cocktails-- even ones detrimental to my organs and physiology-- that failed to work for decades. They took my thoughts, my happiness, and what was supposed to be the "prime" of my life.
Then, my body rebelled. I have degenerative connective tissue disorders that have taken my physical function away from me. I live each day with the fear of organ rupture, joint dislocation, heart attack, deafness, colostomy bags, feeding tubes, and ultimately complete physical disability.
Now I choose to accept, feel, process, & vocalize my thoughts & feelings. The abusers in my past have forever scarred me, but I am now at a safe & stable place to speak out to you and tell you that it gets better. I am in a place now to tell you that the demons in your mind are just that... and it gets better. I am now here to tell you that instead of thinking about what physically can't do, to think about what you can do and plan accordingly. This life you have is the only one you get. Do whatever it takes-- you kick, scream, run, cry, fight, burn bridges, be alone, be with loved ones-- to find yourself and to love yourself. "Smoke, fire, it's all going up, don't you know I ain't afraid to shed a little blood; smoke, fire, flares are going up, won't wave my white flag, no, this time I won't let go"
#perseverance #strength #warriors #mentalhealth #physicalhealth #chronicillness #ehlersdanlos #ptsd #trauma #youareworthit #bethelight #abuse #neglect #bpd #advocate #cincinnati #suicidesurvivor #bishopbriggs #whiteflag #music #musictherapy