I am so incredibly GRATEFUL today. I’m not going to lie, this is about the worst physical shape I have ever been in with #multiplesclerosis
. It’s bad enough and painful enough that, in moments, I know EXACTLY why people want to die sometimes with this disease. But to see the difference in the way I am experiencing it now compared to 10 years ago is..... so fucking cool.
I am a person who has historically had a real hard time accepting help from others, let alone asking for it directly. And as a result, I have always felt very alone, afraid and a bit desperate during disabling relapses.
But recent years, I’ve worked so hard to break down my own walls, to not only let people in but also seek them out and tell them exactly what their support means to me when I’m ill (and when I’m not). And I feel like the circumstance this time around, as I’m unable to walk much or work at all, reflects those efforts nicely. It always surprises me WHO shows up to help (and who doesn’t), but I am far from without it. From walking my dogs and getting me food to taking me out of the house and just keeping me company, I have a small, deep wealth of people keeping me aloft. The fact that these friends (and acquaintances and total strangers) take time out of their day to show me with their actions that my presence here MATTERS to them, makes me want to fight through this more than anything else ever could.
Thank you everyone who has walked my dogs, sent a text, took me out or just listened to me tell you how hard this is.... you guys are everything. And I am GRATEFUL for you. ❤️💕