Today I sit in a space of being confronted by my deepest darkest shadows.
My deep desire to fit in and be liked - to be asked to be included.
My deepest instinctual nature to keep things ‘right’ and fair.
Triggered by my beautiful soul sisters absolutely smashing it. Stepping up and showing the world how magnificent they are.
I want to celebrate and shout of how proud I am, and yet it would not be heartfelt or authentic because underneath is a little girl crying from being excluded, left out, or left behind.
Those who choose to change the rules on the way they share their magic with the world (too fucken right they can - it’s theirs to do as they choose - right) but my little girl inside says ‘that’s not fair’ ‘what about the rules we had for us’, my wounded ego says ‘life’s not fair, get fucking over it and stop being a winger’. And in this space I sit.
Why do I share this?
Because this is the deepest work we get to do. This is the part of a divine remembering that no-one sees.
It’s not all unicorns and rainbows. It’s deep, tear filled, range rising, anger, pain, sadness, abandonment.
But I’ve been here before. And I know this - the deepest part of our shadow is where the magic lays.
I know this is where I’ll find my biggest nuggets of gold. But I’ve got to dig through the darkest, heaviest dirt, mud and shit to find them.
But I know that when I do, another part of my forgotten self - my magical magnificent self will click into place.
And if you truly want to remember your truth, rewrite your story and return to completeness - this is the space we get to sit.
This is the space where I am at the moment. But it’s not the place I will stay.
For I know that my breakthrough is here. Waiting for me to dig. Because that is how we find our gold.
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