What I've learned in life is that no matter what kinda struggle, no matter what kind of hell you're faced with, how you were raised and what you you do..you're parents will always have a significant effect on you. My father, was selfish- and I know that sounds harsh but at times wondered why I even stuck around, what kinda good was I really doing? What was this life I was living and could I honestly call it mine..
Over and over I put my faith in the wrong person, watched as the people I care about die and those who I thought would stick around forever disappear from my life. I still remember the day you stopped breathing, sadly it wasn't your place to take, it was my spot and you-...
Nothing, I mean nothing can compare to watching the one's you love pass..it's mind crippling, for me it was like a chunk of my heart was sliced off and that dull pain set in- The sound of that heart monitor still rings in my ear and I feel those heartstrings break just a little. For years I was angry, I was angry at the fact you left me, left Sammy..you left again, and I couldn't get you back, I couldn't do a damn thing! Nights I wished you come back and days I was glad you were gone..my anger turned to drinking, hell took over quite literally..all because you..all because of mom, I was never a child, and I envy the kids who never have to see this ugly side of the world, now I'm alone; Sammy is gone, you're gone, mom's gone..I'm practically gone myself.
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