) is these photos that were taken 4 years apart and roughly the same weight. This post is actually more of a #nonescalevictory
then anything. If you look closely at both picture there is a little difference in the sweatshirt fit. Too most it may seem so minor but let me share what's in my mind and what I see thru my eyes.
August 2014 was when I bought that sweatshirt. It was obviously in Chicago and was the first vacation for me and my now wife. On our last day we went shopping for souvenirs for her, my step son and myself. However nothing fit me and I was getting so frustrated and angry because no- one had "big guy" sizes. Literally at the last store we found this sweat shirt but it felt like spandex to me. To me it was so tight and felt so uncomfortable. Even with the gal that's mine telling me I look great I didn't feel it or believe it.
I had lost some weight that fall and fit me better however like my normal roller coaster of my weight by Fall/ winter of 2015 sweatshirt got moved to the closet of clothes I don't or can't wear and for 3 years that's where it has hung.
I remember after throwing a hissy fit all morning that nothing fit and mine as well not give a crap at all and really eat whatever and drink whatever and just be the fat guy I'm meant to be. How I acted I thought for sure I'd be single shortly after we got home. However she didn't leave me, she continued to believe in me. That made me want to lose weight. The problem tho it was short lived. Why? Because I didn't believe in myself.
So my transformation is definitely a mental one. What's different this time from any other time? Mentally I want to do it. I hit, what most call, rock bottom. When I began 156 days ago I found an Instagram Account and he said it best. @hugh_fat_loser
said it, nobody can help or motivate someone, unless the person truly wants it. I truly want it this time. I want better life, healthier life, happier life, hopefully longer life.
Light your own fire, then have others help it keep burning! (Not sure if that makes sense haha)