That being said though…nearly everyone tries to deny it. Victim shaming is ripe in our society whether you want to believe it or not. Our definition of what we consider abuse is so incredibly narrow & small in comparision to the things that can actually traumatise a person. By traumatise I mean an emotional shock that occors following a distressing event or series of events that lead to long term upheaval, distress, stress, strain, pain, anguish, suffering, upset, agony, misery, sorrow, grief, heartache, heartbreak, torture,disturbance,ordeal, trial, tribulation, troubles, worry, anxiety, burden, adversity, hardship & NIGHTMARE just to name a few. (which are synonyms for trauma by the way) We spend so much time arguing about whether or not we consider something to be abusive in order to decide whether or not a person should be traumatized we miss the most important point. THEY ARE!But people base the truthfulness of my claims on whether or not they think what happened to me constituted abuse! Physical violence is often seen as being more serious than emotional abuse, but this simply isn’t true. The scars of emotional abuse are real and long lasting. I know because I am riddled with them.Things that have happened to me in my life havenegatively impacted on my self-esteem, mental health & infiltrated every part of my life but none of that seems to matter unless you think those things SHOULD or SHOULDN’T have done that much damage. The definition of trauma doesnt allow you to determine whether a particular event or thing is traumatic. That is up to each survivor...NOT for you to decide!
It’s so weird how social media has become a highlight reel of our lives. It’s not fun to share the bad times, but it does make our stories a little more real and relatable. I’ve been going through some super not fun things over the last few weeks (excluding the awesome engagement!) which might not be noticeable based on my always smiley posts. Through all of this, I’m so thankful for my supportive friends, family, fiancé, and mentors. I have a lot of new beginnings ahead of me and wanted to remind everyone that life is never picture perfect, despite how you might try to frame it on Instagram. Much love to all of you that have cheered me on through every hurdle in life. 💙 #keepmovingforward