reason: talking to a friend who was used as a mere joke by an asshole she believed she loved
title: "IT WILL TAKE TIME."
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in the moment you find out that you are just a toy to the person you love with all that you are;
your heart will sink. your throat will run dry & it will be difficult to breathe. your head will ache as your mind unconsciously & instantly starts to replay every damn memory with the person & how it shatters all at once, along with your already burned heart. your knees will grow weak until you collapse, until you cannot tell the floor is cold because you've already become numb. the ground will already be covered in your tears that cannot stop and it will feel like you are drowning when everyone else can breathe underwater.
unwanted thoughts like "i don't ever want to love again" & "i will never feel again" & "i am not worth anything but a joke", will most definitely start running through your pumping veins.
but think back to your 1st love, you're over him aren't you? of course it is nothing compared to what you feel now. but don't you remember what it taught you? how although you were broken & lost because of your 1st love, a 2nd love appeared & showed you that even when you break you can be fixed. remember that.
&, i know it is hard to rid yourself of the roots he planted in your heart & in your mind. but those plants he rooted, they're toxic. they are weeds in your beautiful flower bed. & they do not belong there. they do not deserve to occupy any space in your mind or fill any of your thoughts.
& no way in hell should you miss that damn bastard who took you as a joke.
if someone you loved died, yes, you would cry. but if someone who treated you like complete & utter shit, would you cry? you fucking shouldn't.
you might miss the memories, but that just shows the love is gone. once you start to miss the person they used to be rather than the person you know they are now, the love is gone.
so yes, it is difficult & it will take time. but you need to go & show him you are not at all, a fucking joke. & that he played his damn self.
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