Having a self-care Sunday and relishing in this beautifully sunny weather London has put on; it's so amazing! Chloe Brotheridge (@chloebrotheridge
) was kind enough to send me a copy of her new book 'The Anxiety Solution' and today I'm going to open it up and have a read. Eating the "wrong" things used to be the source of almost paralysing #anxiety
for me. If that's something you struggle with then I wholeheartedly recommend you reach out and seek help; food is something to be enjoyed. And on that note, I'm going to enjoy my #glutenfree
croissant with some homemade #chia
raspberry jam today! Thank you @beyond_bread
for making these beauties (had to buy more than one of course!!) 🥐🥐 #selfcaresundays #breakfast #nourisheveryday
That puppy tho in the corner
I do all this stuff sadly 😢
I have changed so much the past year. Not all for the better though. I used to be very social. I could spend 10 hours at work and then go clubbing the whole night. These days I get tired from doing not much at all. I need to have time for myself between every social event I'm attending and a weekend of partying is nothing more than a memory now. I'm afraid people think I'm boring for going home early and not staying out the whole night. It's not that I don't want to, it's just... I get so tired!! It exhaust me so much being around a lot of people nowadays and I can't wait to get home to be by myself. All the sounds, all the impressions, all the conversations - it drains me! It sounds so sad and pathetic, but this is my life now. I can't do anything about it, I don't have the energy I used to. And I hate it!! I wish I had the energy I used to have... I don't know why this is... Maybe it's my meds. Or maybe I just changed...
I'm doubting myself so much as I'm writing this. My self esteem is at an all time low again. I don’t know if I’m causing this myself or if it is past experiences… I get so frustrated when this feeling of anxiety slowly creeps up on me and I know I can’t do anything about it. I wanna scream, I wanna cry. But nothing comes out. It’s amazing I haven’t smashed anything yet! I'm so sick of my self esteem swaying back and forth every other day. It's such a f*cking roller coaster. I know I should be working on increasing it somehow but I'm so tired of fighting!! Why must everything be so complicated and difficult!?