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I spent 10 years in toxic and dysfunctional relationships. I attracted addicts and narcissists and found myself hanging on to those who would so quickly disregard me once they had got their fix from me in whatever form that may have taken. I was fighting a losing battle but the battle was never with the ones I believed to love it was the battle with how little i loved myself. It was the lack of love for myself that saw me become addicted to the cortisol in my body that was caused by the extreme highs and lows of these horrendous relationships. I was codependent and was looking to the most toxic people to heal my wounds which of course as the years went by saw me sinking deeper into despair. After much healing work on myself and the decision to look at why i was attracting such dysfunction and what it was that was keeping me there I managed to break free. The truth is we can spend a life time pointing our fingers at others and blaming others for their sheer heartbreaking cruelty but ultimately the answers lie within ourselves and it is when we take responsibility for our choices and environments do we then give ourselves the power to create the life that we deserve. When we love ourselves we cannot harm ourselves and i realised i was harming myself by trying to create a life with toxicity; by loving those who have never been capable of loving themselves. I write this because i know how common it is to find ourselves in dead end and damaging relationships- living in hope of change, believing you will get your happy ever after with that person that causes more tears than laughter. All the answers you seek lie within you, there is not just one path in life there are many and some have rainbows and sunflowers at the end of them- it just takes you to have the courage to change your path because God only knows how blessed i feel that i changed mine. Sending you all so much love wherever your internal world is at right now 🌞💖✌💫 #codependent #abuse #narcissist #smearcampaign #addiction #domesticviolence #rape #moveforward #letgo #sunflowers #rainbows
"Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future." - Paul Boese #Secrets2Serenity When we forgive others (or ourselves), we open ourselves up to a new world of #healing . We can let go of the heavy items we have been clinging to, and develop an entirely different perspective on our lives. Those things in our past that we considered so offensive or shameful will become tools with which we can #grow into a better ideal for ourselves. Anger and resentment will only hold us back from this growth, as we will be unable to see things clearly. Forgiveness provides us with a #clarity and #peace that gives our lives new meaning. Today, I will try to see past any “wrongs” done towards me, and will try to maintain an attitude of loving #forgiveness . I will let go of transgressions, and try to see how they could help me to grow. #WednesdayWisdom #Serenity #Addiction #Abuse #MentalIllness #Treatment #AddictionTreatment #Therapy #Sober #soberlife #Wednesday
Another excellent article over at Thought Catalog, this time by Shahida Arabi. I am a survivor of narcissistic abuse. For almost four years, after a lifetime of accomplishments and battles successfully overcome, I was subject to being broken down by a person who slowly chipped away at everything I knew about myself and held dear about my life. From my life abroad to my values in love and friendship, he mocked me, belittled me, tried to get me to make him the manager of my business so that he could further control me... He took all of my money and tried to leech some of my valuable contacts and industry connections that I had worked very hard for. But most of all, he damaged my soul. Where I was once a loving, hopeless romantic, he led me down a path where I trusted no one and believed nothing, thereby alienating myself further from the world I was once so in tune with. As a young girl who grew up "different", I always had a skill for adapting and fitting in. Three years after I escaped his clutches, I am a completely different person, riddled with social anxiety and the desire to be alone most of the time. When I left, I was literally on zero in more ways than one, and spent the last three years building myself back up from scratch both emotionally and financially. There are things I could not tell my friends or clients at the time, because of the industry I work in - where we make dreams come true - when internally, I was living a nightmare. There were days I'd wish he'd just hit me instead. Worst of all, the legal system does not recognize this sort of abuse - the term "insidious" is correct. Even now, I believe I am a shell of the woman I was before I met him. I believe I have been set back and would have been so much further had he not blipped on my radar. Thankfully, I took the best thing with me. One remark or incident is nothing but words. Four years of daily verbal and emotional battering and being told things like: "Watch and see what I will do to you and your name", by a person you love nonetheless... It takes its toll. It steals your spirit. I am a survivor of narcissistic abuse. And I am making a comeback. #survivor #abuse #mystory #chapters
https://blogs.psychcentral.com/narcissism-decoded/2017/06/8-devious-tactics-of-narcissists/ In my quest to be Narc-free, I have to heal the wounds deepened by him. This is now my third week No Contact and holy crap has my anxiety dropped ! My head is becoming clearer and clearer, I'm fucking strong and you know what? I'm fucking awesome man! Since I'm the kind of woman who needs to analyse situations in order to understand them, this article is word for word what happens behind the closed doors of his and many other narcissists' homes, which I was part of for 4 months as his 'roommate'. I'm researching narcissistic behaviour less and less because many puzzle pieces have finally come together and I'm moving on from his toxicity. He began to treat me exactly as the article describes once the 'honeymoon' phase was over and he could no longer keep his nice-guy mask on, or in other words, when people begin to get comfortable with each other and actually have to deal with real life, whether they be roommates, friends or lovers. It's these behaviours that really got my red flags up, my anxiety through the roof and ultimately told me "I need to get out of here ASAP!" And so I did. - - - - #narcissism #asshole #insight #fuckabuse #fucknarccisists #imfree #toxic #toxicrelationship #abuse #imasurvivor #lovelife #liveyourlife #befree
I fought so god damn hard to be me!! I am very selfishly un-apologetically me always!! No more hiding behind closed doors! Others cant see your pain but they can feel it!! ------------------------------------------------------ #abuseaware #narcissitic #abused #free #freedom #power #acceptance #release #change #stronger #feelthefreedom #breathe #narcissist #narc #abuse #survivor #live #life #nocontact #warrior #strength #emotional #reachout #toxic #recovery #mentalhealth #cptsd #survival
"Über Pornos weinen", mein neuester Beitrag ist soeben auf meinem Blog erschienen! Link ist in der Bio. Eure R.C. 👩🏽‍💻
I know Ive been MIA but it's summer and seasonal depression is hitting hard. Did you know summer seasonal depression affects 4-6% of the population? I cant sleep, I dont wanna eat, Im anxious and stressed, and overall overheated. Is it winter yet? #seasonaldepression #summersad #depression #summer #onestepatatime #nature #beach #ocean #lifewithptsd #lifewithptsd2017 #ptsd #trauma #caraccident #recovery #anxiety #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealth #health #journey #posttraumaticstressdisorder #ptsdawareness #survivingptsd #abuse
Men that threaten women 👎🏻women that threaten women 👎🏻 terrible #sad #instagram #pathetic #abuse #low #lowerthanlow
As melhores roupas estão aqui 🙆❤️ todos os looks ficaram maravilhosos em nossa modelo @marianainacios linda!! 😍 #Ouse #Use #Abuse #VemPraUnconventional ----------------------------------------------------VENDAS: - 📲Wathsapp: (64) 99205-9678 - 📌Rua Rui de Almeida, N 202A, Centro, Itumbiara-Go. (Ao lado da loja de fantasias)
When it comes to relationships, things are not always as bae-sic as you may think 🤔 Don't miss these signs that someone is gaslighting you! 😳➡️ joinonelove.org/7_signs_of_gaslighting
T or F? #hesaid
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