Another excellent article over at Thought Catalog, this time by Shahida Arabi.
I am a survivor of narcissistic abuse. For almost four years, after a lifetime of accomplishments and battles successfully overcome, I was subject to being broken down by a person who slowly chipped away at everything I knew about myself and held dear about my life. From my life abroad to my values in love and friendship, he mocked me, belittled me, tried to get me to make him the manager of my business so that he could further control me... He took all of my money and tried to leech some of my valuable contacts and industry connections that I had worked very hard for. But most of all, he damaged my soul. Where I was once a loving, hopeless romantic, he led me down a path where I trusted no one and believed nothing, thereby alienating myself further from the world I was once so in tune with. As a young girl who grew up "different", I always had a skill for adapting and fitting in. Three years after I escaped his clutches, I am a completely different person, riddled with social anxiety and the desire to be alone most of the time.
When I left, I was literally on zero in more ways than one, and spent the last three years building myself back up from scratch both emotionally and financially. There are things I could not tell my friends or clients at the time, because of the industry I work in - where we make dreams come true - when internally, I was living a nightmare. There were days I'd wish he'd just hit me instead.
Worst of all, the legal system does not recognize this sort of abuse - the term "insidious" is correct. Even now, I believe I am a shell of the woman I was before I met him. I believe I have been set back and would have been so much further had he not blipped on my radar. Thankfully, I took the best thing with me.
One remark or incident is nothing but words. Four years of daily verbal and emotional battering and being told things like: "Watch and see what I will do to you and your name", by a person you love nonetheless... It takes its toll. It steals your spirit.
I am a survivor of narcissistic abuse.
And I am making a comeback.
#survivor #abuse #mystory #chapters