Not all marriages are worth fighting for. Abuse is not just physical and/or sexual. Clergymen really need to upgrade their knowledge about abuse in all of its insidious and hidden forms, learn to recognize toxicity and hold abusers accountable for their behaviors. "There appears to be significant blind spots within the western evangelical church when it comes to abuse and how leaders are to effectively counsel within the context of toxic #marriages
people. I hope to highlight a few of the areas that seem to stumble most #churchleaders
. I am doing this not to bring shame or condemnation to #pastors
and church staff, but I hope open discussions will continue to occur. #Survivors
deserve to receive safe and informed care from their #religious
leadership. Unfortunately, this is not currently happening in many of our houses of #worship
in the United States.
Why won’t the church recognize abuse? Magical thinking.
The main issue I have observed is that far too many congregation leaders are teaching a lot about what God can do to change the abuser’s heart and far less instruction on what the abuser must do to be a reflection of #Christ
’s character to his or her family. The focus is placed on everyone but the abuser. The responsibility of changed behaviors is not where it needs to be, but rather deflected outward and away from the source of pain; the abuser.
Leaders are telling survivors that they must #pray
more if they want to see their abuser changed, that it is their duty as a #wife
to remain steadfastly committed like Hosea did to Gomer in the #Bible
, and that God can change anyone if enough people are praying. Where are the teachings about the abuser repenting and permanently turning away from their harmful lifestyle? Where are the teachings about natural consequences when we mistreat other people?" Read more at http://southlakecounseling.org/blog/ #dropfiftyfast #domesticviolence #domesticviolenceawareness #domesticabuse #shannonthomas #toxic #narcissist #sociopath #psychopath #abusiverelationship #personalitydisorder #church #churchflow #jesuschrist #churching